Friday, July 16, 2010

Magical Flying Unicorns produce with wings and horns against the wall

Photo caption: T-Bear psyching up the troups while Pitch throws another strike

The Magical Flying Unicorns came up big when it mattered and with our horns and wings against the wall. We were in fourth place with a 2-3-1 record, but two teams were on our tail with 2-4 records that could have tied us with a loss against the Wells Fargo Big Hitters. Fortunately, alls wells that ends wells when we played Wells Fargo.

The offense finally came out of its mid season coma with an 18-2 pounding that turned the Wells Fargo Big Hitters into the Wells Fargo Whiners. I think they referred to T-Bear as Steve Spurrier or Tom Osborne, two coaches famous for 66-0 trouncings in college football.

I hate to run up the score, but you can never have enough runs in softball. I was part of a team that was down 12-5 going into the last inning. We scored 17 runs in the last inning and held on to win 22-17. Also, runs are the tie breaker, so I did not want to take any chances. Also to the second power, I wanted as much at bats for our team as possible. I thought about batting lefty my last at bat or purposely grounding out, but then Bauer would not have had another at bat. I have learned that the more at bats we have the more productive we are in future games, so I swung away and got another hit. Sorry Wells Fargo whiners about that.

Photo caption: Agent Bauer fielding a throw from T-Bear. I always hit her in the chest, I find it an easy target.

Not only did the offense come to play, but so did the defense. Our defense is always centered around Pitch, who won her 547 career Grant Park softball game. She would have had a chance at a shutout if it was not for the ump whom was too busy flirting with Jackie O, can’t blame him for that, to yell “batter up.”

Photo caption: Jackie-O concentrating on the ball - Our secret weapon in buttering up the umpire

The game started with a triple from T-Bear, who safely was able to land at third base without injuring himself thanks to weeks of stretching and tiger balm. It is a bitter disappointment that not one female Unicorn has offered to massage T-Bear's hamstring back to health, but even without this aid T-Bear is near to 100% health.

Photo caption: T-Bear getting ready for a hit

It is always nice to get a run early and Bauer cracked a grounder to short stop for run number 1. Turk followed with a home run as he almost killed the first basewoman who wandered into the base path. Good call by the ump who was able to disengage himself from Jackie-O in time to twirl his fingers for a home run.

Photo caption: Turk lines up a home run

One-two-three was the way the defense put down Wells Fargo Whiners for the first couple innings. Infield shined thanks to Pitch who instead of giving up home runs and line drives was able to get their guys to hit ground balls to short and third and T-Bear and Legend were up to the task.

Photo caption: Legend fields a ground ball while Ichiro, the rover, roves and Turk looks on

The Unicorn line up continued to tack on runs one and two at a time. Legend lived up to his name and was unstoppable at the plate. Ever since his home run heard around the world last week to save us from a loss he has found new found confidence at the plate and has saved his name from being downgraded to the Myth or the Rumor. T-Bear reserves the right to change nicknames at a moment notice as he is the one in control of the line up sheet where official nicknames are recorded.

Photo caption: Not sure if this is Legend's home run or just a typical arc on a Pitch pitch (I know for sure it is not Sparky's second hit)

After scoring a run here and there in each inning and only giving up two thanks to a misunderstanding by the ump, the outcome of the game was still in doubt as the Unicorns were leading 8-2. The offense then erupted with key hits by everyone. How did this come about? In the 4.5 inning T-Bear inserted the sparkplug into the game (aka Sparky). She got two hits including one that went a whopping one foot and still might be rolling. We do not ask Sparky to supply the muscle, just the spark and her insertion into the lineup set the Unicorn lineup on fire.

Photo caption: Sparky supplies the drinking spark also

Before you know it, it was 18-2 and grown adults were turned into whining children crying about running up the score and T-Bear taking extra bases. It is not easy receiving a season’s worth of pent up Unicorn offensive frustration. Even Smores, who has been hitting like a marshmellow of late, got into the act with several hits and a wonderful slide back into first base. It helped that Wells Fargo inserted the only pitcher older than Jamie Moyer into the lineup that was serving up meatballs.

Photo caption: Smores uses Legend's shirt to help him break out of a mid season slump

Kudos go out to the whole team. The guys do what guys do and that is hit the ball with authority. T-Bear and Legend (the Ozzie and Kenny Williams of the Unicorns) were a collective 11-11, Turk hit a home run, and Smores and Juice each got big hits with the bases loaded. I know why we call Juice Juice now as he loves to hit the ball with the bases juiced.

Photo Caption: Juice concentrates then pounces on the ball sending it into right for more RBIs and more whines from Wells Fargo

Bassmaster continues to do everything asked of her. Tell her to play third base and she responds, tell her to play second and she responds, tell her to hit the crap out of the ball and she does it, tell her to take a walk for the team and she does it, tell her to go out and buy a gallon of milk and she does it in 5 minutes thereby giving kids access to their favorite beverage all night. Way to be so versatile for the team.

Photo caption: Bassmaster on base yet again

Ichiro played a mean game of rover. Not one ball was hit to her, but can you blame Wells Fargo for trying to avoid Ichiro in the outfield? Her presence caused them to either hit to T-Bear or try and hit it farther and fly out to the waiting Smores and Turk.

Photo caption: Ichiro is so fast she is a blur of action

Bauer finally looked like the agent we know and love. She played a flawless first base and started to hit the ball with authority. She got a base hit and a key RBI and also hit the ball hard each time up.

Photo caption: Agent Bauer patrols her domain at first base

Jackie-O did a wonderful job of buttering up the ump. She also ran hard to first and broke up a double play and later scored. She also continued to hit the ball with authority. Great job first lady of unicorns.

Photo caption: Jackie-O crushes the ball then hustles to first

Pitch was a machine out there and having her at the helm gives me confidence that we can beat the undefeated CNA next week. She also ripped the hell out of the ball down the third base line late in the game that elicited a few more tears from Wells Fargo

Photo caption: Pitch showing of her softball multi talents

Stevie Ray Vaughn and Stevie Wonder are not superstitious, but T-Bear is. I actually wore the same shirt I wore to the last game a couple of years ago when we had a similar had to win to get in the playoffs scenario. It is not hard for me to remember as my wardrobe is very limited. Because of my superstitions, I am going to keep everything about the line up exactly the same for next week. Good news is we play the undefeated CNA at field 11, which is the scene of last week's slaughter.

Thanks to Greg and Morgan for keeping score and taking the amazing photos that complimented this blog. As always, feel free to click on the blue T-Bear links for more snippets of my writing.

New to this blog and the names confuse you, click here to reference the nicknames.

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